Hello web user, who has stopped off at my bog following a badly spelled Google search. Your search terms appear in the site logs. I’ll do my best to help. You searched for:
- deep rawlplug – Ooh baby. Give me some of that hot plastic plaster-gripped screwing. It’s hard core, sweaty hole in the wall action.
- nine nail naich – That’s my name. That is what it takes to attach me securely to the ceiling. You don’t want to know what the 7th nail passes through.
- cack shop – I get mine from World of Cack. Sure you do pay a little bit more but it’s worth it for the customer service and free 2 year warranty. The quality of the cack is second to none too; you don’t have to worry about it forming a crust at a vital time, like just before the boss comes round. We’ve all been there, right? I’m talking lobster nipples.
- poo driver – This one isn’t as odd as it sounds. Available from any good golfing shop, this particular club is called this rather odd name due to the noise it makes as the ball is struck. While the sound is definitely unusual and the range is maybe not quite as far as a conventional wood, the accuracy of drive is unrivaled by any other type of driver. No of course not – I made that up. Fuck knows what that particular person was actually after and the results on Google are quite horrible.
- toddler vomiting balls of phlegm – Dum dum dum dum… You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane, you broke my will, but what a thrill, my toddler’s vomiting great balls of phlegm. Seriously though – get him to a doctor.
- can’t drill far enough into wall for rawl plug – The answer is simple. Move to a house with thinner walls. Either that or get a longer drill. Whichever is easier for you.
- fucking drl dog – I can’t advise on this one. However you interpret this particular search term, you end up in a place you don’t want to be.
- arthur askey smoking – You fucking pervert. I know what that means. Get help you sicko.
- don’t sayto mum where ä± am – Don’t worry; I wouldn’t even if I could.
- can cocaine make you vomit – Well, what do you expect if you keep stuffing yourself on those cocaine and lard sandwiches?
- smoke outside the hospital doors – Fire in the sky, dum dum dum, dum dum de-duum, dum dum dum DUM DUM!
There you go. I’m glad I could be of some use to you.