A bike called Jedward<\/span><\/p>\n He’s called Jedward because he’s crap.\u00c2\u00a0 When I bought him he was crap.\u00c2\u00a0 The brakes didn’t really work in the wet – as I hurtled to my doom they made a distant mooing sound, like a cow in the next field.\u00c2\u00a0 The tyres were falling to bits and both the back and front wheels were buckled.\u00c2\u00a0 But then I found another bike that was going to be chucked in a skip and, using bits from another junker and Jedward, I managed to cobble together something that was rubbish but wouldn’t actually kill me the next time there was a bit of drizzle in the air.\u00c2\u00a0 Which leaves Jedward, who was crap at the best of times, and now even crapper than when I bought him because he’s had all the 1\/4 decent bits taken off and replaced with the 1\/8th decent bits from the skip-rescued one.<\/p>\n So what are you bidding on?\u00c2\u00a0 All the bits that make up a bike are there.\u00c2\u00a0 All you need to do is tighten everything up and you’ve got yourself a death-trap that no-one in their right mind would ride without the legally-binding promise, signed by at least 4 gods, of 200 virgins waiting for him (or her) on the other side.\u00c2\u00a0 Seriously, you don’t want to ride this one home and I purposely left everything loose so he’s un-rideable.\u00c2\u00a0 What’s good about him?\u00c2\u00a0 Well, the frame and forks aren’t too bad and the dust covers on the tyre valves are in tip top condition.\u00c2\u00a0 Other than that, he’s crap.<\/p>\n No panic bidding please.<\/p>\n Sorry, I don’t really have anything much to say about curry at the moment.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s been ages since I had one and I think I’m beginning to forget what they taste like.\u00c2\u00a0 Tragic. But on to Ebay – I just put this advert on there, for Jedward my faithful steed: A bike called Jedward He’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[20,88,89],"class_list":["post-355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bastards-bastards-bastards","tag-bike","tag-jedward","tag-moo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=355"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":366,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/355\/revisions\/366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"