{"id":18,"date":"2007-07-09T12:24:25","date_gmt":"2007-07-09T12:24:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/?p=18"},"modified":"2008-03-25T16:17:20","modified_gmt":"2008-03-25T16:17:20","slug":"number-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/number-one\/","title":{"rendered":"Number One!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Searching Google for &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.google.co.uk\/search?client=firefox-a&amp;rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&amp;channel=s&amp;hl=en&amp;q=brightly+coloured+poo&amp;meta=&amp;btnG=Google+Search\" title=\"Ooh pretty\">brightly coloured poo<\/a>&#8221; brings up my blog as the first hit out of 17,800.  Naich&#8217;s Blog.  Number One for people who like their turds with a bit more colour.<\/p>\n<p>I found that out because the server logs (ho ho ho) showed that 2 people have landed at my page following a search for exactly that term.  Other searches that led to my blog were &#8220;can you get chickenpox in you bum&#8221;, &#8220;dark green poo toddler&#8221; and (rather disturbingly) &#8220;your first enema&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Highlights for June included &#8220;baby clear glob&#8221;, &#8220;naked bmw driver&#8221; and &#8220;clearing the nose of vomit&#8221; (I&#8217;m proud to be number 2 on Google for that one).<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s then pretty dull until we get to April, with &#8220;help masturbation&#8221; (sorry, I&#8217;m busy at the moment) and &#8220;gotta survive or try to stay alive ho how old&#8221;.  Well quite.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, March has a disturbing &#8220;symptom coughing up lung&#8221;, presumably followed by a search for &#8220;how to clean bits of human organ out of your keyboard&#8221;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Searching Google for &#8220;brightly coloured poo&#8221; brings up my blog as the first hit out of 17,800. Naich&#8217;s Blog. Number One for people who like their turds with a bit more colour. I found that out because the server logs (ho ho ho) showed that 2 people have landed at my page following a search [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-google-dregs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/naich.net\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}