Long time no drivel. I’ve been hanging around at Blah Your Branes, which is a site dedicated to taking the piss out of people who post to the BBC’s “Have Your Say” board. It might sound a bit odd, but have a look if you aren’t easily offended.

Now, to business. I received this rather splendid Nigerian 419 Scam this morning. It’s not the normal one though, it’s a kind of meta-scam which I found quite charming, in a fraudulent sort of way. They are obviously running out of victims and are re-visiting existing ones, mopping up those who go beyond merely dumb and greedy, charting new waters into the terminally gullible.

Subject: Compensation Notice

NIGERIAN FOREIGN PAYMENT INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT
ANTI-FRAUD DEPARTMENT

FROM THE OFFICE OF THE CHAIRMAN
ANTI FRAUD DEPARTMENT
(under the auspices of EFCC)
ABUJA, NIGERIA.

Attn: Scammed Victim,

This notice is to keep you informed that Mr. President/commander in-chief of armed forces federal republic of Nigeria,during the last federal executive council meeting inaugurated both bodies ECONOMIC & FINANCIAL CRIMES COMMISSION (EFCC) in collaboration with the UNITED NATIONS (UN). I was mandated by both bodies to apologize to all those involved in the scam by Nigerians,and those listed for this exercise and of which you are among the list of scammed victims.

Note that money valued USD100, 000.00 has been approved in your favor as compensation following directives of Mr. President and therefore you are advised to forward the following information?s below to enable the apex bank process your fund for payment to you without any form of interference or delay.

Full Names:
Your Complete Home Address:
Your Tel/Mobile Numbers:

We will appreciate your immediate response; hence we have 7 working days to conclude with this exercise.

Best Regards,

Mr. Tom West
For EFCC & UN

Isn’t that lovely? I would almost wish them luck with it, if I didn’t already wish them a fiery and painful death as they roast slowly on a spit.