And another thing…

Sorry, you’ve got me started on the Vectra now. The Vectra’s central locking has 2 “features” I’ve not seen on other cars – one press of the remote unlocks the driver’s door and you need another press to unlock the rest of the doors and the boot and filler cap. The reason for this is […]

Got the bastards!

They’re caught in a nut, they can’t swim out, because I don’t want any more babies… I’ve got the all-clear letter framed and hung above the bed.

Swimming against the tide

You would have thought that two vasectomies would be enough to stop the little buggers getting through, but no.  The first set of tests have come back positive for (frankly quite impressive) swimmers.  I’m shortly going to be cracking off with what will be my 10th test since I started this whole thing, and I’m […]

The ways of the Jedi

Got Wibs Star Wars Lego for the PS2 and we had a 2 player game before one of the controllers broke. Wibs: “Daddy – why did you kill Jar Jar Binks?” Me: “Sorry, it was an accident” Wibs: “Daddy – don’t kill Jar Jar Binks” Me: “Sorry Wibs, I mistook him for someone else” Wibs: […]

The unkindest cut of all

Now I’ve failed my third sperm test, it looks like the vasectomy I had last year didn’t make a vas deferens to my fertility.  Of course, the good thing about having a failed vasectomy is that I can crack that joke.   And I suppose it’ll be nice to have another chinwag with the doctor about […]

Revising for a sperm test

Further to this post, I’m quite horrified to find out that I have failed my sperm test. I’m going to have to re-sit it and hope I pass it the second time. If I fail again, then my goolies will be sliced and diced for a second time. Mind you, if the inhabitants are strong […]

Swimmers certificate

I had to take a post-vasectomy custard sample in to the doctors this morning. I wondered (in an email fashion) to Tim if I should have written “with love” on the label. He replied that I should have written “thinking of you”. Sheer class.

A Grand Day Out

The nightmare journey of a what seems like a thousand miles begins with me saying “why don’t we go and see Thomas the Tank Engine at the Nene Valley Railway?” I blame Jen. My record for organising things isn’t good; I once booked a seaside holiday in what I was told was a “lovely chalet”, […]