Naich’s crappy blog

Further to this post, I’m quite horrified to find out that I have failed my sperm test. I’m going to have to re-sit it and hope I pass it the second time. If I fail again, then my goolies will be sliced and diced for a second time. Mind you, if the inhabitants are strong enough to make it past two cauterised ends of vas deferens, then putting two more blockages in their way is only going to make them angry. They might start looking for other ways out. I’ve had a persistent cough for a while now and I’m starting to wonder if what I’m coughing up is actually phlegm.

I’m also worried that if I have to provide too many more samples, I’m going to start getting aroused at the sight of small plastic bottles.

Well, it’s been two months since I first sent Carlsberg an email complaining
about their driver, who was delivering to the Revolution bar. He basically
challenged me to a fight when I asked him if he was aware that his lorry was
illegally parked in a dangerous position (email below). A month ago, I sent another
email, asking Carlsberg if their lack of response meant that they condoned
the actions of their driver. A single word in an email would have denied
it. Other than a confirmation that they had received the first email,
there’s been nothing from them to suggest that they don’t approve.

Maybe I should have gone over it?

This morning, going down the same bit of road, there was the large Carlsberg
delivery lorry, parked jauntily on a bit of pavement and completely blocking
the contra-flow cycle lane. While the other cyclists swerved round him,
head on into the oncoming path of the traffic, I stopped to take a picture.
However he was just leaving and went past,  giving me a cheeky grin and a wave, while my phone camera was slowly chugging into operation. At least he didn’t run me over.

So no reply from Carlsberg, and their drivers are still happily breaking the
law and putting people’s lives at risk. The only conclusion I can draw from
this is that at best, Carlsberg don’t care about the behaviour of their
drivers or the people who’s lives they put at risk, or possibly, they
actually like their drivers to be abusive, dangerous and law-breaking.

So next time you are in the Revolution, drinking some Carlsberg carbonated
burping water, raise a glass to the driver who delivered it, a young man who
bravely risks other people’s lives and is quite happy to threaten people
because he can’t be arsed to walk the few extra steps from the loading bay
round the back.

Here’s another picture of the lorry parked in the same place, a while ago.

Or I could dig a tunnel under it

This is the original email I sent:

At 7.50am this morning (16/9/09), I passed a Carlsberg lorry parked in a mandatory contra-flow cycle lane in Downing Street, Cambridge, making a delivery to the Revolution Bar [1]. His parking was not only illegal but dangerous, forcing me or any other cyclist using the cycle lane into the main road and into the path of oncoming cars.

The driver was unloading from the back of the lorry, so I stopped and asked him if he knew he was parked illegally in a cycle lane. His reply was “Yes, I know. What are you going to do about it?”. It was a bit early in the morning for a fight with a delivery driver and I was late for work, so I left it at that.

The follow-up:

Hi. It’s been over a month since I made my initial complaint, and since I have not had a response from you (other than a brief email to say the
complaint had been passed on), can I assume that Carlsberg condones (as implied by your apparent inaction) the aggressive behaviour and the illegal and dangerous parking of their drivers?